I love running, I love it not...

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with running. Ever since the half marathon I have really enjoyed NOT running regularly. I am obviously not one of these people who are addicted to running - I'm more addicted to exercise in general - I love the pumped feeling of pushing yourself to the limits, but I love variety. I still enjoy running but I enjoy not having it as my sole focus.

Lately I have been doing all the cardiocoach tracks in the mornings - mainly on the elliptical because it doesn't stress my hamstrings at all, and they seem to be perpetually injured (from running!). I've really enjoyed it, but have to be careful not to do too much as it really is a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout, and if I do it in the mornings, and then do Combat/Attack in the evenings, that's really two HIIT workouts a day - and its too much for the body to cope with day in/day out. Anyway - its been great, I've really enjoyed it all, and I've had no hamstring pain.

So Monday/Tuesday I was down in Adelaide and staying with my parents. I was unable to exercise Monday due to an early bus ride, and evening commitments - so I knew I needed to do something Tuesday. With no vehicle for transport, I thought a run would be in order. So I decided to stick with the cardio coach program and use it on an outdoor run.

I think my hamstrings became sore overnight in anticipation of the work (they have been fine for weeks, but felt sore when I got up - go figure!). Nevertheless I headed off - walking for the first 10 mins, and then did slow jogs for the interval work up a really steep hill. It hurt a bit, but it was OK. I've kind of decided to just ignore my hamstrings - I'm just so fed up with them not healing. Any, the cardio coach programs seem to be graduated in length and in intensity - and just my luck, the one I was up to was #5 out of 7. The wonderful Sean O'Malley told me that it was 60 min session with a series of short sprints. Ah well- why not. I could do at least one couldn't I. So I went for it. And it felt fantastic. In fact I ended up doing 6 x 1 minute sprints, with 30 secs rest, and then 6 x 30 sec sprints with 90 secs in between. Apparently in the first set of sprints I was meant to keep my HR below 85% and not hit the anaerobic state - ooops - kinda ran them all at 90% - 95%! I loved the feeling and got lots of strange looks as I practically bowled people over on the footpaths as a ran like a madwoman - or at least someone who was being chased by the boogie man!

But it all came at a price. I could feel the pain in the hamstrings, but I ignored it- I was having too good a time! Eventually when the pain became very sharp - I had to stop and skip the last two sprints. And of course today - I am in agony- not just the pain in the hamstrings, but every other muscle in my thighs is stiff and aches - because I really kicked butt! (Did I mention on one of the sprints I hit 15km/hr!!!!)

So it was an elated feeling, followed by frustration. I guess I really am going to have to see someone about this injury - (but as a health professional I hate to admit that I can't solve my own problems!) Whilst I don't want to have to run all the time just to keep fit (that seems like a chore) - I do love the feeling of really "going for it" every now and then. Once a week would be fine with me - but I can't keep putting myself through this injury. I would really like to be able to push myself to my limits without being limited by pain.

Maybe after Christmas when I have a bit more money....

By the way - only 6 more sleeps! I'm so excited - I have really spoilt the kids and I can't wait to see their faces!

One more "by the way". The reason I was in Adelaide was for my graduation ceremony - I have finally graduated with a Masters in Primary Health Care.

Day 14 report

Well, I'm not perfect.

And I didn't achieve perfection.

But I didn't do too badly.

I have been doing a lot of heavy cardio (up to 2 hrs a day - 1 hr in the morning, one hr in the evening) and its been quite exhausting. So much so that I had to have a rest day on Thursday or I wouldn't have been able to move- every muscle in my body ached.

I've been doing Cardiocoach in the mornings, and have now done all 7 of tracks, and have even done Cardio Pump this afternoon. I've been alternating doing it on my new elliptical/cross trainer (Chrissie present) and the treadmill. Good thing too as when I run I like to "let it rip" which it does, and there goes my hamstring again. But it doesn't hurt at all on the elliptical, but I have to work harder (ramp up the resistance) to get my heart rate up as it is low impact. On one hand I hope I don't get too much fitter or I will run out of resistance settings!

Food wise - I've been pretty good - not perfect, but within my calorie allowance except for my cheat meal - which I really enjoyed

I've done no weights this week - except for pump just now - too exhausted.

Results wise - not much change on the measurements except I have dropped 1 cm around the waist - bringing me back down to 80cm. Yay, because 80 cm is the limit for a healthy weight/low risk category.

Body fat wise - my skin calipers measured me up a bit to 18% body fat??? Not sure what this means - daily variation/variation in the way I measure it/or even does it suggest that cardio is good for dropping weight but I am losing muscle mass - can I lose 1% in a week? Who knows, more time will tell, although I will try and put some weights back in this week as my body adjusts to the extra cardio (plus I had two days in Adelaide for work which made it hard)

Finally - if my 17 y.o. daughter is ever home long enough for me to see her - I might get her to take some photos of me showing the muscle definition - its hard to do this yourself - and she loves taking photos.

Bye for now

PS - to all of those who welcome me back after long gaps between posts - I should tell you that I haven't been anywhere - I read all of your posts just about daily - but run out of time to comment or post myself! Your lives are much more interesting!!!

Day 21 (yes I'm counting backwards)

Achievement - 100%
Exercise - 911 cals - 42 mins Cardio Coach on the X trainer in the am, 60 mins Combat - pm

Food
M1 - Protein shake
M2 - Saladas and vegemite
M3 - Tuna salad
M4 - Yoghurt (with protein powder), apple
M5 - Protein shake (no time to eat real food)
Cals - 1390

Water - 2 litres

Net Cals for the day - 479
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Day 21 of "Perfection" (am also calling this 21 days of perfection)
1 down - 20 to go

21 Days of Christmas

Before I talk of my Christmas plan - a bit of an update. Since my "exciting news" I have actually been quite depressed. Despite being at 17% body fat- and officially in the "lean" category - I am anything but lean. Whilst I am very happy with my upper body - it IS lean and mean - nice muscle definition - and I love wearing strappy tops to show it off, my stomach is a disaster.

With a waist of 81 cm and most of it "hanging" below this, it rolls around with a life of its own. I could never post bikini photos (or wear a bikini, or even anything tight fitting around the abdomen) because it looks so awful. The skin is wrinkled and puckered - and I reckon I could probably pick it up and weigh it on the scales all on its own. What is really depressing is that I have come to the realisation that my goal of a flat 6 pack stomach is completely unachievable without surgery. I have done everything possible to achieve this, and its just not going to happen. I read other peoples stories and see their amazing transformations, (to flat stomach's no less) and get upset that the transformation isn't there for me, despite all my hard work. If I didn't work so damn hard on it, I guess I wouldnt feel so bad, but the fact that when I read what all the body blitz/body for life champs have done to achieve such success, and I do this all the time, its quite deflating.

My husband doesn't understand this, because he just sees all the achievements, but when you've worked towards something for 2 years, and come to the realisation that you will never achieve it...... Anyway - I am trying to move on from my self absorbed wallowing. I have made an appointment to see a plastic surgeon -and although I can't get in until Feb, I guess its a start. I'm just not sure how I will go convincing my husband to spend bucket loads of money that we don't have, on something he doesn't want me to do......

Back to the goal orientated me. Since this episode I have really struggled to identify a goal. If its not about the weight - then no use using this as a goal. If my body fat is already in the lean category but doesn't give me what I want in a figure - not sure how to set this one. How low do I aim for? I think even 0% wont give me what I want. But I do want a smaller waist. Believe it or not since dropping the body fat, my measurements have increased all over - including my waist by 3 cm. (Which makes me doubt the body fat measurements, but it doesn't seem to matter how many times I do them I still come up with the same result). In previous readings and posts I have alluded to the fact that I don't think you can gain muscle and lose weight at the same time, and I am aware of some fitness models who cycle their diet to lose weight for a few weeks, and then alter their diet to gain muscle for a few weeks. So I have decided to spend the next 21 days leading up to Christmas to focus on losing weight overall - not in terms of kgs, but in terms of measurements - particularly my waist.

Here's my plan

• Stick to my clean eating plan with 5 small meals per day - but change my focus to coming in within the calorie limits rather than achieving the protein requirements. I'm going to drop my calories slightly to 1450 per day with two cheat meals per week (because of all the Christmas parties).
• Be firm about no starchy carbs after meal 3. I have been quite flexible about this up until now (ie having pasta for dinner if everyone else was having it, but just keeping my serving really small) but for the next 21 days - I will not eat any starchy carbs in meals 4 and 5
• Get a cardio hit every morning and night, 6 days per week, at the expense of weight training if necessary. I have been using cardio coach (HITT) in the mornings on the elliptical (my Christmas present) and it has been great - real leg burn when I turn up the resistance which I don't get from running. I firmly believe in weight training as an essential element of my exercise routine, but this is ONLY for 21 days. As long as I continue to weight train regularly - a few missed sessions shouldn't affect maintaining my muscle mass.
• Drink 2 litres water/day

Achieve 100% on each of my goals for each and every one of my 21 day challenge.

I will measure my effort as follows:

• Keep within 1450 cals each day, or 1200 on my cheat meal days (and not count the calories in the cheat meal) - value - 20 %
• Drink 2 litres water - value 20%
• Cardio in the morning - 20%
• Cardio in the evening - 20%
• No starchy carbs in meals 4 & 5 - 20%

To measure my results - I will do full body measurements 1/week, and I will weigh myself at the beginning at the end. - No more often than that and purely out of interest - the results I am looking for are a drop in body size - specifically my waist

To achieve 100% every day for 21 days will require an enormous commitment, but my motivation will be that I have done absolutely everything possible to be in my best shape for Christmas. Saving surgery, there is nothing else I can do.

The challenge starts tomorrow!