With a waist of 81 cm and most of it "hanging" below this, it rolls around with a life of its own. I could never post bikini photos (or wear a bikini, or even anything tight fitting around the abdomen) because it looks so awful. The skin is wrinkled and puckered - and I reckon I could probably pick it up and weigh it on the scales all on its own. What is really depressing is that I have come to the realisation that my goal of a flat 6 pack stomach is completely unachievable without surgery. I have done everything possible to achieve this, and its just not going to happen. I read other peoples stories and see their amazing transformations, (to flat stomach's no less) and get upset that the transformation isn't there for me, despite all my hard work. If I didn't work so damn hard on it, I guess I wouldnt feel so bad, but the fact that when I read what all the body blitz/body for life champs have done to achieve such success, and I do this all the time, its quite deflating.
My husband doesn't understand this, because he just sees all the achievements, but when you've worked towards something for 2 years, and come to the realisation that you will never achieve it...... Anyway - I am trying to move on from my self absorbed wallowing. I have made an appointment to see a plastic surgeon -and although I can't get in until Feb, I guess its a start. I'm just not sure how I will go convincing my husband to spend bucket loads of money that we don't have, on something he doesn't want me to do......
Back to the goal orientated me. Since this episode I have really struggled to identify a goal. If its not about the weight - then no use using this as a goal. If my body fat is already in the lean category but doesn't give me what I want in a figure - not sure how to set this one. How low do I aim for? I think even 0% wont give me what I want. But I do want a smaller waist. Believe it or not since dropping the body fat, my measurements have increased all over - including my waist by 3 cm. (Which makes me doubt the body fat measurements, but it doesn't seem to matter how many times I do them I still come up with the same result). In previous readings and posts I have alluded to the fact that I don't think you can gain muscle and lose weight at the same time, and I am aware of some fitness models who cycle their diet to lose weight for a few weeks, and then alter their diet to gain muscle for a few weeks. So I have decided to spend the next 21 days leading up to Christmas to focus on losing weight overall - not in terms of kgs, but in terms of measurements - particularly my waist.
Here's my plan
- Stick to my clean eating plan with 5 small meals per day - but change my focus to coming in within the calorie limits rather than achieving the protein requirements. I'm going to drop my calories slightly to 1450 per day with two cheat meals per week (because of all the Christmas parties).
- Be firm about no starchy carbs after meal 3. I have been quite flexible about this up until now (ie having pasta for dinner if everyone else was having it, but just keeping my serving really small) but for the next 21 days - I will not eat any starchy carbs in meals 4 and 5
- Get a cardio hit every morning and night, 6 days per week, at the expense of weight training if necessary. I have been using cardio coach (HITT) in the mornings on the elliptical (my Christmas present) and it has been great - real leg burn when I turn up the resistance which I don't get from running. I firmly believe in weight training as an essential element of my exercise routine, but this is ONLY for 21 days. As long as I continue to weight train regularly - a few missed sessions shouldn't affect maintaining my muscle mass.
- Drink 2 litres water/day
Achieve 100% on each of my goals for each and every one of my 21 day challenge.
I will measure my effort as follows:
- Keep within 1450 cals each day, or 1200 on my cheat meal days (and not count the calories in the cheat meal) - value - 20 %
- Drink 2 litres water - value 20%
- Cardio in the morning - 20%
- Cardio in the evening - 20%
- No starchy carbs in meals 4 & 5 - 20%
To achieve 100% every day for 21 days will require an enormous commitment, but my motivation will be that I have done absolutely everything possible to be in my best shape for Christmas. Saving surgery, there is nothing else I can do.
The challenge starts tomorrow!
1 comment:
good luck sweetheart.. i sort of know how u feel because i thought i would lose my boobs losing weight, so now of course i AM having surgery on them. my tummy still is flabby and i think it also always will be without surgery but i am not going that far haha
we have to live with what we have got sometimes huh? you are awesome, good luck with your goals!
and oh, you guessed!!!
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